ONCE UPON A TIME IN LUKANO

Play It:
For the Arcade and PS2.



Story:
The country of Lukano has been invaded by Zagorios. The Lukano army is no match for them and most of the country is quickly taken over. However, it is discovered that tactical missiles have been deployed on the captured island of Astigos. From there, the Zags will have the ability to strike at any of the neighboring nations with ease as well. Agents Alan Dunaway and Wesley Lambert have been dispatched to deal with it.

Well, they are getting better, but this still isn't going to win any awards. Alicia's quest does add a few twists. Anyway, does anyone care? Cause I don't.



Graphics:
Top of the line graphics (as of 2003.) I heard that the graphics for the home port are better, but I haven't noticed. The arcade's were good enough anyway.



Sound:
The music is well orchestrated, but is very forgettable. I have the home port, and I still can't remember more than 3 tracks! The sound effects are the standard fare. Anyway, the voice acting is good. Leagues better than Project Titan. I can't think of any bad lines although some are a bit... goofy, like "Over here, ya idiot!" Some of the deliveries are a bit flat.
"I see. They're using the hostages as bait to force the resistance to surrender, right?"
Oh, come on, the voice actor was obviously just reading that one.



Difficulty:
Much harder than number 2, but still pretty easy. Alicia's mission is a pretty good challenge and much like the first game. Also, Crisis Mission is also a good challenge although I'm not counting it.



Enjoyment:
Well, if you liked the predecessors, you'll like this one. Like part 2, this one also has 2 player support. Strangely, the ability to choose your path in-game via orange foes is not present, so to play as a specific agent, you plug the gun into either the first or second USB port. Kind of annoying. There is no double gun feature in this game. What? Pretty weak, Namco. Pretty weak. I could understand complications with the weapon select, but there are a few things they could have done. Like only being allowed to use one weapon at a time, or even only allowing you to use handguns. Hey, I would sacrifice those for some double-gunning action. Also, this is NOT compatible with the Guncon 1. Guess Namco wants you to buy some more guns. The Rescue Mission is a pretty cool addition. Too good, in fact. Alicia actually makes the VSSE agents look pretty weak.



Replay Value:
There are 2 (slightly) different routes through the game depending on which agent you are. There is no reason to replay the Rescue Mission or Crisis Mission.





Rant Session:
I've got a gun that can fire handgun bullets, machine gun ammo, shotgun shells, and grenades. It can hold 200 machine gun bullets, 50 shotgun shells, 5 grenades, but ONLY 9 HANDGUN BULLETS!?! What's up with that? All that firepower, and I still can't get 15 bullets in a clip?

I'd also like to address the recent conspiracy theories on Wild Dog. The manual states that "he returned from the fires of Hell" and now we got people going "He's made a deal with the devil and is doing his bidding!" Um, do not take literally, people! Its called an expression. It doesn't really rain cats and dogs. Although how does Wild Dog keep surviving, anyway? I mean, he's been shot (like 274 times), blown up twice (3 including this time), and been inside a helicopter when it crashed. There's the Russian Torture Chair thing; something about putting explosives in a perfect circle and standing directly in the middle when they go off. Supposedly, it creates a vacuum which will save you from getting your ass burned. I don't know if it works, but even if it does, I doubt that whenever Wild Dog gets shot down, he just happens to be within his circle that he put up "just in case." Maybe Namco was serious about the devil deal. That would be pretty retarded, but it might be true.

"Hahaha, VSSE! I've agreed to lead Satan's armies on the dawn of the Apocalypse just so I could have my revenge on you! The 4 horsemen... blah blah blah... eternal damnation! Check out my badass Lucifer Laser! Yadda yadda... 666! Die!"
Whatever. Speaking of Wild, how about Fang? Why does every TC game have to have a fruity ass character? Come on, they all did. Sherudo, Jacov, Wild Dog in Project Titan, and now Wild Fang.
"Allow me to intro'douche' myself. My name is Wild Fang, and it's a pleasure!"
Due to his voice, it sounds like he's saying "Wild Thang," but to me, he sounds more like Wild Fag.

The enemies have to reload their guns every so often. This is good, right? I mean, its more realistic. Except for the fact that they literally reload every so often. Just watch. Enemies will fire 6 shots, reload, fire 3 more, reload, then 4 more and reload. What gives? Man, I knew I should have put more than 3 bullets in a clip!

Hey, when I shoot someone, the screen says "1 hits!" Huh, last time I checked, 1 doesn't constitute multiple, so then why is it plural? And does that really need to be brought to my attention? I think I'm perfectly aware that I shot someone, and is it really a big deal? As if I'm playing a racing game and it would suddenly say, "Turn navigated!" Holy shit! I must have some mad skillz. Actually, he says "Woo, that was a great counter! You must be one genius of a driver! You gotta teach me!" I never heard of driving skills being considered genius, but eh.

The Crisis Missions are better than last time, but they are still pretty lame, and a complete pain in the ass. Don't shoot the civilians! How am I supposed to do that? They run in front of everyone I'm shooting at! They run out so fast that you can't see them before you put a bullet in one. And the time limits are impossibly tight, so you can't wait for them to pass. How do you do it? By failing the mission about 20 motherfucking times! Eventually, you start thinking "I need to shoot this guy for 2.5 seconds, pause as a hostage runs by; resume firing for 3.1 seconds, pause for another civilian... resume!" Who am I, RoboCop? Why are they even running between us? Isn't the whole point of running to get AWAY from the shooting? Why do I keep asking so many fucking questions for this rant? These are the stupidest civilians since Lethal Enforcers! No wonder they got taken over. They probably shot at least half of their own troops by accident. Oh, the fucking humanity! They also wave their arms about in rather unorthodox ways as they run, probably so that you have a higher chance of hitting them.

And they still haven't fixed the problems with 2 Player. I still get only a fourth of the screen to shoot at. Better hold that gun straight, or you will miss your box altogether. Only here, it is even more impossible since you can't see some guys until they give off a red flash, and you can't use a controller as a foot pedal in 2P; you need to use the buttons on the gun.

Finally, there is one last gripe: CHEAP ASS HITS! You may know; hiding behind the box as some guys are firing. You wait till the firing just about stops, pop out, and WHAM! You meet up with a bullet that just happens to be where your head is. This has existed in all TC games, but it has never been a problem before. I'd get hit once, maybe twice. Usually not at all. Maybe I'm just unlucky, but here I usually lose 4 lives (that's one full continue, if you're playing this game with a fair allotance of lives) a game to this shit. Once, I swear I lost at least 7 lives this way. And its not like I thought "OK, the car should have already passed..." It wasn't really my fault; I had simply picked the wrong nanosecond to stick my head out.





Bottom Line:
Don't let my rant discourage you, I really like this game. The PS2 extras make this game one of the top shooters, period.
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