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ONCE UPON A TIME IN LUKANO
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Play It: |
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"Hahaha, VSSE! I've agreed to lead Satan's armies
on the dawn of the Apocalypse just so I could have my revenge on you!
The 4 horsemen... blah blah blah... eternal damnation! Check out my badass
Lucifer Laser! Yadda yadda... 666! Die!"
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Whatever. Speaking of Wild, how about Fang? Why does
every TC game have to have a fruity ass character? Come on, they all did.
Sherudo, Jacov, Wild Dog in Project Titan, and now Wild Fang.
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"Allow me to intro'douche' myself. My name is Wild
Fang, and it's a pleasure!"
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Due to his voice, it sounds like he's saying "Wild
Thang," but to me, he sounds more like Wild Fag.
The enemies have to reload their guns every so often. This is good, right? I mean, its more realistic. Except for the fact that they literally reload every so often. Just watch. Enemies will fire 6 shots, reload, fire 3 more, reload, then 4 more and reload. What gives? Man, I knew I should have put more than 3 bullets in a clip! Hey, when I shoot someone, the screen says "1 hits!" Huh, last time I checked, 1 doesn't constitute multiple, so then why is it plural? And does that really need to be brought to my attention? I think I'm perfectly aware that I shot someone, and is it really a big deal? As if I'm playing a racing game and it would suddenly say, "Turn navigated!" Holy shit! I must have some mad skillz. Actually, he says "Woo, that was a great counter! You must be one genius of a driver! You gotta teach me!" I never heard of driving skills being considered genius, but eh. The Crisis Missions are better than last time, but they are still pretty lame, and a complete pain in the ass. Don't shoot the civilians! How am I supposed to do that? They run in front of everyone I'm shooting at! They run out so fast that you can't see them before you put a bullet in one. And the time limits are impossibly tight, so you can't wait for them to pass. How do you do it? By failing the mission about 20 motherfucking times! Eventually, you start thinking "I need to shoot this guy for 2.5 seconds, pause as a hostage runs by; resume firing for 3.1 seconds, pause for another civilian... resume!" Who am I, RoboCop? Why are they even running between us? Isn't the whole point of running to get AWAY from the shooting? Why do I keep asking so many fucking questions for this rant? These are the stupidest civilians since Lethal Enforcers! No wonder they got taken over. They probably shot at least half of their own troops by accident. Oh, the fucking humanity! They also wave their arms about in rather unorthodox ways as they run, probably so that you have a higher chance of hitting them. And they still haven't fixed the problems with 2 Player. I still get only a fourth of the screen to shoot at. Better hold that gun straight, or you will miss your box altogether. Only here, it is even more impossible since you can't see some guys until they give off a red flash, and you can't use a controller as a foot pedal in 2P; you need to use the buttons on the gun. Finally, there is one last gripe: CHEAP ASS HITS! You may know; hiding behind the box as some guys are firing. You wait till the firing just about stops, pop out, and WHAM! You meet up with a bullet that just happens to be where your head is. This has existed in all TC games, but it has never been a problem before. I'd get hit once, maybe twice. Usually not at all. Maybe I'm just unlucky, but here I usually lose 4 lives (that's one full continue, if you're playing this game with a fair allotance of lives) a game to this shit. Once, I swear I lost at least 7 lives this way. And its not like I thought "OK, the car should have already passed..." It wasn't really my fault; I had simply picked the wrong nanosecond to stick my head out. Bottom Line: Don't let my rant discourage you, I really like this game. The PS2 extras make this game one of the top shooters, period. |
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