BANKS, YOU TOLD ME YOU COULD AIM.
HOW THE FUCK YOU HIT THE PET SHOP? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HIT THE MOTHERFUCKIN'
CLUB NIGGA!
Play it:
For the arcade and PS3.
Story:
A terrorist group is looking to obtain a biological weapon, and it's up to the VSSE to stop it. However, the weapon is already in the wrong hands. The top-secret weapon are biologically enhanced creatures bred for warfare known as Terror Bites.
Well, killer bugs? What? Aside from the sci-fi cheese, the plot is the most complex yet. There's a few twists and turns. The solo arcade story contains gaps in the plot that are filled in by Rush's quest. Whether Rush's story was already penned when they first made the game or they simply patched the holes in the arcade plot may never be known. But hey, who cares about the plot?
Graphics:
Topnotch. Not the shining example of the PS3's hardware, but this game probably couldn't run on the PS2.
Sound:
The music: good. I think the music of later TC games don't quite match those of the earlier ones but I'm not sure. The sound effects: good. Nothing much to say here; most shooters are just bang bang bang, and few really rise above. This is not one of them. The voices: not so good. The voice acting is competent, however the script really took a dive since Crisis 3. The agents spout off groaners of 'witty' banter like "What is this, a picnic?"
Enjoyment:
This is a difficult review to write. Any TC fan should know that the home ports contain an extra mission or two. This one provides half of one: the arcade game interspersed with new levels. However, all the new levels are special 'Guncon FPS' type stages, making it kind of like 2 games in 1, ala Die Hard Trilogy 2. The problem is, one game is good, and the other is pretty much crap. The crap game is the main reason why the overall game's score is dragged down by the professional critics.
Unsurprisingly, one game is the good ol' arcade version of TC4. This, I'm happy to say, is the good game. If you enjoyed the previous games, you'll enjoy this one too. If you played the arcade version, the home version is every bit as good.
Now, we've got the 'Guncon FPS' mode, which is Namco's attempt to create a Halo / Doom / pick your favorite game with a Guncon rather than a keyboard or controller. A nifty idea to be sure, but can it work? You have to aim on 3 different axis: you have to move your guy, make him look around, and aim where you want him to shoot. That's 2 joysticks and you aiming a handgun. Then you also get buttons for jumping, reloading, crouching, switching guns, and zooming in. Yikes.
How well does this work? Well, it works. You can also make use of motion sensing to cut that into 1 joystick and you waving a handgun around. I like this one as it allows you to hold the gun normally and also is better for tracking targets.
However, this condemns you into keeping your gun pointed at the screen, lest Rush stare up into the sky or at his Nike's while spinning in circles.
As for the game itself, if you haven't played an FPS before, you might have fun. However, the game just doesn't have anything going for it beyond the novelty of using a Guncon. Interesting environments? Despite being varied, you might as well always be in the same locale, as any interaction is limited to opening doors and flipping switches. Wicked awesome destruction? Nope. Very little of the environment is destructible. An awesome physics system, as the Havok logo on the startup screens boast? Could have fooled me. What little environment destruction might as well be scripted, with only glass breaking apart dynamically. There are few variables that influence which of a couple death animations bad guy with perform (what weapon you use, and whether you shoot him in the front or back) with no ragdoll effect at all. It's totally wasted in this game; even the recent Sonic The Hedgehog made more (and better) use of the engine. A sense of humor? Nada.
What the actual gameplay is the simplest the FPS genre has to offer. Chain-link fences are essentially transparent walls, as you can't shoot through them. You can't harm yourself. You can walk right up to a wall, fire a grenade, and you won't get hurt. You can't really explore, considering you don't even have a dedicated action button to open doors; anything that you can interact with is marked. The enemy isn't very dedicated to their jobs, and will rarely come after you, often running back and forth and in random directions. Sometimes, they don't even shoot in the right direction. Using the zoom to pick off guys from a distance where they shoot sparingly, often with ass aim, is the most useful tactic. It's all just dull, and the levels take at least 20 minutes to complete. And unlike Rescue Mission, you don't even get an extended ending for beating the complete mission.
Challenge:
The arcade game is at least on par with Time Crisis 3, maybe harder. However, the FPS stages are for the most part cakewalks. The enemy is useless, and if you do get shot, standing still for a couple seconds will recharge your life back up to full. Easy to do most of the time considering how lazy the enemy is. And if you do die, unless you're playing on Hardest, you can have up to 4 lives in reserve, which can be replaced by the numerous medikits you'll find. On the flip side, some bosses become ridiculous on the harder difficulties. Unlike the fodder, these guys will hunt you down and relentlessly attack so you can't stand still to recharge. It's a very lopsided balance. Of course, the real challenge comes from fumbling with the controls.
Replay Value:
Well, you don't really get 2 quests in one like the previous ports. It's more like 5 additional levels. However, there are some bonus mini-games, and the staple Crisis Mission to keep you playing. (And no, none of them have any FPS levels.)
Rant Session (spoilers):
Who in the hell created these characters? It's like there was a competition to one-up the previous guy. The 3 normal characters are Conway and the 2 military brass. Being high-rankers, they have to wear prestigious clothing. Here's the heroes, or maybe the cast of the next Final Fantasy. I'm not sure.
For the arcade and PS3.
Story:
A terrorist group is looking to obtain a biological weapon, and it's up to the VSSE to stop it. However, the weapon is already in the wrong hands. The top-secret weapon are biologically enhanced creatures bred for warfare known as Terror Bites.
Well, killer bugs? What? Aside from the sci-fi cheese, the plot is the most complex yet. There's a few twists and turns. The solo arcade story contains gaps in the plot that are filled in by Rush's quest. Whether Rush's story was already penned when they first made the game or they simply patched the holes in the arcade plot may never be known. But hey, who cares about the plot?
Graphics:
Topnotch. Not the shining example of the PS3's hardware, but this game probably couldn't run on the PS2.
Sound:
The music: good. I think the music of later TC games don't quite match those of the earlier ones but I'm not sure. The sound effects: good. Nothing much to say here; most shooters are just bang bang bang, and few really rise above. This is not one of them. The voices: not so good. The voice acting is competent, however the script really took a dive since Crisis 3. The agents spout off groaners of 'witty' banter like "What is this, a picnic?"
Enjoyment:
This is a difficult review to write. Any TC fan should know that the home ports contain an extra mission or two. This one provides half of one: the arcade game interspersed with new levels. However, all the new levels are special 'Guncon FPS' type stages, making it kind of like 2 games in 1, ala Die Hard Trilogy 2. The problem is, one game is good, and the other is pretty much crap. The crap game is the main reason why the overall game's score is dragged down by the professional critics.
Unsurprisingly, one game is the good ol' arcade version of TC4. This, I'm happy to say, is the good game. If you enjoyed the previous games, you'll enjoy this one too. If you played the arcade version, the home version is every bit as good.
Now, we've got the 'Guncon FPS' mode, which is Namco's attempt to create a Halo / Doom / pick your favorite game with a Guncon rather than a keyboard or controller. A nifty idea to be sure, but can it work? You have to aim on 3 different axis: you have to move your guy, make him look around, and aim where you want him to shoot. That's 2 joysticks and you aiming a handgun. Then you also get buttons for jumping, reloading, crouching, switching guns, and zooming in. Yikes.
How well does this work? Well, it works. You can also make use of motion sensing to cut that into 1 joystick and you waving a handgun around. I like this one as it allows you to hold the gun normally and also is better for tracking targets.
However, this condemns you into keeping your gun pointed at the screen, lest Rush stare up into the sky or at his Nike's while spinning in circles.
As for the game itself, if you haven't played an FPS before, you might have fun. However, the game just doesn't have anything going for it beyond the novelty of using a Guncon. Interesting environments? Despite being varied, you might as well always be in the same locale, as any interaction is limited to opening doors and flipping switches. Wicked awesome destruction? Nope. Very little of the environment is destructible. An awesome physics system, as the Havok logo on the startup screens boast? Could have fooled me. What little environment destruction might as well be scripted, with only glass breaking apart dynamically. There are few variables that influence which of a couple death animations bad guy with perform (what weapon you use, and whether you shoot him in the front or back) with no ragdoll effect at all. It's totally wasted in this game; even the recent Sonic The Hedgehog made more (and better) use of the engine. A sense of humor? Nada.
What the actual gameplay is the simplest the FPS genre has to offer. Chain-link fences are essentially transparent walls, as you can't shoot through them. You can't harm yourself. You can walk right up to a wall, fire a grenade, and you won't get hurt. You can't really explore, considering you don't even have a dedicated action button to open doors; anything that you can interact with is marked. The enemy isn't very dedicated to their jobs, and will rarely come after you, often running back and forth and in random directions. Sometimes, they don't even shoot in the right direction. Using the zoom to pick off guys from a distance where they shoot sparingly, often with ass aim, is the most useful tactic. It's all just dull, and the levels take at least 20 minutes to complete. And unlike Rescue Mission, you don't even get an extended ending for beating the complete mission.
Challenge:
The arcade game is at least on par with Time Crisis 3, maybe harder. However, the FPS stages are for the most part cakewalks. The enemy is useless, and if you do get shot, standing still for a couple seconds will recharge your life back up to full. Easy to do most of the time considering how lazy the enemy is. And if you do die, unless you're playing on Hardest, you can have up to 4 lives in reserve, which can be replaced by the numerous medikits you'll find. On the flip side, some bosses become ridiculous on the harder difficulties. Unlike the fodder, these guys will hunt you down and relentlessly attack so you can't stand still to recharge. It's a very lopsided balance. Of course, the real challenge comes from fumbling with the controls.
Replay Value:
Well, you don't really get 2 quests in one like the previous ports. It's more like 5 additional levels. However, there are some bonus mini-games, and the staple Crisis Mission to keep you playing. (And no, none of them have any FPS levels.)
Rant Session (spoilers):
Who in the hell created these characters? It's like there was a competition to one-up the previous guy. The 3 normal characters are Conway and the 2 military brass. Being high-rankers, they have to wear prestigious clothing. Here's the heroes, or maybe the cast of the next Final Fantasy. I'm not sure.
"I LOOK FABULOUS!"
Rush manages to pass for normal. He actually dresses for
large-scale combat, with a combat suit and some degree of bullet-resistant
material. The only exception is the bright orange goggles around his neck
(that he never uses) and his not being able to decide between dreads and
a ponytail.
Going with the complete mission, Rush makes first contact
with the enemy while searching a terrorist group's base. They are apparently
attempting to obtain a top-secret military weapon. The mission takes an
unusual turn, as there seem to be 2 factions of the 'enemy' fighting each
other. Even stranger is a weapon they employ: killer beetles. Sure enough,
those are confirmed to be the weapon in question. Rush demonstrates his
intelligence by saying "What? A top-secret weapon? Why didn't anybody
tell me?"
The apparent leader of W.O.L.F. (side note, why does everybody HAVE to pronounce each letter out whenever they mention this group? Can't you just say "Wolf" and assume the person knows what it means?) drops a PDA that contains data about the VSSE agents' arrival and subsequent ambush. However, the guys who attack the agents are actually the Hamlin boys, not W.O.L.F. Oops.
Anyway, the W.O.L.F leader is apparently a normal homosapien. However, he does look EXACTLY like some guy named Mike who always comes hangs around the store I work at and got busted for buying cigarettes for minors. Aside from both wearing the same sunglasses and beanies, when you shoot him dead, he does a perfect imitation of his facial expressions (more like flinching / grimacing.) I haven't figured out if he's the leader of a European terror cell yet but I haven't counted it out.
After being rescued, they all fly to the trade site, which is right on the streets of San Francisco (whoa, a real city in a Time Crisis game?) in broad daylight. However, the dealer is well-protected by a whole bunch of antiaircraft trucks and helicopters and... Wait, the enemy was going to have a deal with a convoy of military vehicles and aircraft in the middle of a city? How the hell did they think that this deal would go unnoticed? The head honcho is a Mr. Black, who is concealed by the huge cloak he wears. Clearly, he does not wish to be seen hanging out with such losers. However, he does still wear dog tags despite hiding his face.
Next, the corrupt group of soldiers attack a dam in California, however, this turns out to be a diversion so the battalion could break into a facility and steal more Terror Bites that they could use in an operation. Now, this will make NO sense to anyone who plays the game in the arcade. Well, if they wouldn't have sold their Terror Bites to terrorists, they wouldn't have to steal more for their mission now would they? The PS3-exclusive complete mission fills in this gap, though whether they already had the plot all figured out or they realized there was a gaping hole in the plot, I don't know. However, this plot point is only slightly clearer in the complete mission, as all I'm basing this on is that the guy at the dam refers to Marcus as a 'backstabbing traitor that only cared about money', so I guess that means that the deal was his idea and not in sync with the rest of the unit. I hate having to postulate a plot on the behalf of Namco.
Now we've got Jack Mathers, who manages to look absolutely ridiculous in military garb. He mentally conjures up an image of a Scottish bagpipe player in kilts whenever I see him. But wait, did I forget someone? In the Complete Mission, there's an additional level that takes place before Jack's fight. However, I mentioned Jack first because this boss looks like an almost exact clone of him, minus the eyepatch. He wears the same clothes (just a different color), has the same silly-looking hat, is the same muscle-bound body shape, and even sounds like him (I'll bet it's the same VA too.) I thought it was the same person until he mentioned Jack's name.
Oh no, Wild Dog is involved with this operation! What a completely unexpected twist of fate! Okay, I admit that it would feel wrong to not include him in a TC game (Crisis Zone was not originally an official entry), but how does this guy keep popping up in all these plots? Is he the designated VSSE expert? His resume can't be that impressive:
Employer: Sherudo Garo
Duties: Kidnapping, right-hand man
Reason For Termination: Boss killed
Employer: Ernesto Diaz
Duties: Right-hand man
Reason For Termination: Boss killed
Employer: Self Employed
Duties: Hiring assassins, personnel, manager of operations
Reason For Termination: Apparently killed, operation destroyed, dress code violation
Employer: Georgio Zott
Duties: Right-hand man,
Reason For Termination: Boss killed
Employer: Target Corporation
Duties: Stock
Reason For Termination: Misuse of sick days
And of course, upon defeat, he uses his detonator to blow up the general area he lies in. Just like he did in #2, and #3, and I suppose #1 even though he didn't intentionally blow himself up that time. Come on guys, can't we think of something different?
Wild Dog already has an established character, and Namco wisely decided it was too risky to alter his wardrobe. However, Wild Fang was fair game. Now he's got a coat/cape with a giant Japanese symbol (probably for 'Fang') to go along with his pink suit, and the queer dial got turned up another notch. I spoke too soon about the lost Final Fantasy characters; this guy definitely belongs, because he looks like he knows Level 3 Fire Dragon. Sadly enough, apparently he does. Wish I had an image to chuck up here but I don't.
Finally, the enemy group is lead by man by the name of Greg. Surprisingly, he is frightened of the prospect of becoming a fashion disaster and refuses to even chance wearing a shirt. However, he is still obligated to be as special as possible. Not content to simply wear the Terror Bite controller on a necklace, he has gouged an eye out and replaced it with a bionic one. Why not, I mean, you only need one, right? You'd figure that if he went ahead with cybernetic enhancement, he'd at least plunk down the extra bucks for at least maybe a flak jacket.
Gotta love this one... At one point, explosive gas makes firearms impossible to use, so everybody resorts to melee combat. Rush has a knife; the enemy carries axes. Yes, the enemy has AXES for backup weapons. Not some small hatchet, I mean freaking battle axes. These Hamlin guys do NOT fuck around.
Bottom Line:
Well, if you like Time Crisis, this one is a no-brainer. A disappointing homeport for the series, but still a good shooter. Just try not to think about the FPS mode that much.
The apparent leader of W.O.L.F. (side note, why does everybody HAVE to pronounce each letter out whenever they mention this group? Can't you just say "Wolf" and assume the person knows what it means?) drops a PDA that contains data about the VSSE agents' arrival and subsequent ambush. However, the guys who attack the agents are actually the Hamlin boys, not W.O.L.F. Oops.
Anyway, the W.O.L.F leader is apparently a normal homosapien. However, he does look EXACTLY like some guy named Mike who always comes hangs around the store I work at and got busted for buying cigarettes for minors. Aside from both wearing the same sunglasses and beanies, when you shoot him dead, he does a perfect imitation of his facial expressions (more like flinching / grimacing.) I haven't figured out if he's the leader of a European terror cell yet but I haven't counted it out.
After being rescued, they all fly to the trade site, which is right on the streets of San Francisco (whoa, a real city in a Time Crisis game?) in broad daylight. However, the dealer is well-protected by a whole bunch of antiaircraft trucks and helicopters and... Wait, the enemy was going to have a deal with a convoy of military vehicles and aircraft in the middle of a city? How the hell did they think that this deal would go unnoticed? The head honcho is a Mr. Black, who is concealed by the huge cloak he wears. Clearly, he does not wish to be seen hanging out with such losers. However, he does still wear dog tags despite hiding his face.
Next, the corrupt group of soldiers attack a dam in California, however, this turns out to be a diversion so the battalion could break into a facility and steal more Terror Bites that they could use in an operation. Now, this will make NO sense to anyone who plays the game in the arcade. Well, if they wouldn't have sold their Terror Bites to terrorists, they wouldn't have to steal more for their mission now would they? The PS3-exclusive complete mission fills in this gap, though whether they already had the plot all figured out or they realized there was a gaping hole in the plot, I don't know. However, this plot point is only slightly clearer in the complete mission, as all I'm basing this on is that the guy at the dam refers to Marcus as a 'backstabbing traitor that only cared about money', so I guess that means that the deal was his idea and not in sync with the rest of the unit. I hate having to postulate a plot on the behalf of Namco.
Now we've got Jack Mathers, who manages to look absolutely ridiculous in military garb. He mentally conjures up an image of a Scottish bagpipe player in kilts whenever I see him. But wait, did I forget someone? In the Complete Mission, there's an additional level that takes place before Jack's fight. However, I mentioned Jack first because this boss looks like an almost exact clone of him, minus the eyepatch. He wears the same clothes (just a different color), has the same silly-looking hat, is the same muscle-bound body shape, and even sounds like him (I'll bet it's the same VA too.) I thought it was the same person until he mentioned Jack's name.
Oh no, Wild Dog is involved with this operation! What a completely unexpected twist of fate! Okay, I admit that it would feel wrong to not include him in a TC game (Crisis Zone was not originally an official entry), but how does this guy keep popping up in all these plots? Is he the designated VSSE expert? His resume can't be that impressive:
Employer: Sherudo Garo
Duties: Kidnapping, right-hand man
Reason For Termination: Boss killed
Employer: Ernesto Diaz
Duties: Right-hand man
Reason For Termination: Boss killed
Employer: Self Employed
Duties: Hiring assassins, personnel, manager of operations
Reason For Termination: Apparently killed, operation destroyed, dress code violation
Employer: Georgio Zott
Duties: Right-hand man,
Reason For Termination: Boss killed
Employer: Target Corporation
Duties: Stock
Reason For Termination: Misuse of sick days
And of course, upon defeat, he uses his detonator to blow up the general area he lies in. Just like he did in #2, and #3, and I suppose #1 even though he didn't intentionally blow himself up that time. Come on guys, can't we think of something different?
Wild Dog already has an established character, and Namco wisely decided it was too risky to alter his wardrobe. However, Wild Fang was fair game. Now he's got a coat/cape with a giant Japanese symbol (probably for 'Fang') to go along with his pink suit, and the queer dial got turned up another notch. I spoke too soon about the lost Final Fantasy characters; this guy definitely belongs, because he looks like he knows Level 3 Fire Dragon. Sadly enough, apparently he does. Wish I had an image to chuck up here but I don't.
Finally, the enemy group is lead by man by the name of Greg. Surprisingly, he is frightened of the prospect of becoming a fashion disaster and refuses to even chance wearing a shirt. However, he is still obligated to be as special as possible. Not content to simply wear the Terror Bite controller on a necklace, he has gouged an eye out and replaced it with a bionic one. Why not, I mean, you only need one, right? You'd figure that if he went ahead with cybernetic enhancement, he'd at least plunk down the extra bucks for at least maybe a flak jacket.
Gotta love this one... At one point, explosive gas makes firearms impossible to use, so everybody resorts to melee combat. Rush has a knife; the enemy carries axes. Yes, the enemy has AXES for backup weapons. Not some small hatchet, I mean freaking battle axes. These Hamlin guys do NOT fuck around.
Bottom Line:
Well, if you like Time Crisis, this one is a no-brainer. A disappointing homeport for the series, but still a good shooter. Just try not to think about the FPS mode that much.