PACK IS BACK
No, it's not that hentai you may have seen floating
around the Internet, its a new (well, not so new now) cartoon/anime. The
Sonic games are among my personal favorites. However, I was thoroughly
disappointed with the Sonic cartoons and comics. The "movie"
was alright, although pretty stupid. Okay, really stupid, but a hell of
a lot better than the Mario Bros movie. I never got into the kiddie "Adventures
of Sonic the Hedgehog", And I hated the other one (I believe it was
simply called Sonic the Hedgehog, or SATAM by its adoring legions) and
the comics which were based off it (or was it the other way around?) with
a passion. It's not that I really hated it, but... well yeah I fucking
hated it. The Freedom Fighters were just about the stupidest fucking idea
(to say nothing of Knothole village) ever. All the new characters were
either annoying, just plain retarded, or a combination thereof, pretty
much making them worthless.
So when I heard they were making a new cartoon, I wasn't exactly expecting it to melt my butter, if you know what I mean. It was called "Sonic X", which is about the biggest cliché of the 90's. Let's see what I can come up with off the top of my head: Generation X; Mr. X; Project X (from a whole bunch of different things); Shinobi X (Shinobi Legion's Japanese title); Revolution X; Static X; some other band I can't remember; Madden Super Extreme Blitz X 64; I could go on.
Then, I realized that this was the 4th cartoon incarnation of Sonic, and history has shown that franchises generally go down the shitter by that time.
Take Scooby Doo, for example. That was a good show, until Hanna Barbera decided to make about 10 different versions of it. First we had "Scooby Doo, Where are you?", and that was good. Then, the "Scooby Doo Movie" came out, which wasn't actually a movie, despite the name. It was the same show except with guest stars like the Harlem Globetrotters, The Three Stooges, and Dick Van Dyke. That was pretty good too, although when I first saw the introduction I thought, WTF? But then, they made "Scooby and Scrappy Doo", which was the same show plus Scooby's hella annoying (son? younger brother? relative?) Now, I may have my order mixed up, but bear with me... Then we got "A Pup Named Scooby Doo", which was alright, if you were 3 years old or completely retarded. All I have to say there.
HB charged ahead with "The New Scooby Doo Adventures", which dropped Fred and Velma, who apparently had some better things to do than be in this utter heap of shit. I knew this was going to be bad as soon as I saw the opening credits which featured dancing vampires, ghosts, and butcher dudes. I was ready to chuck this right out the fucking window, but alas, there was nothing to defenestrate, and I could only sit and watch in horror. Well, I guess I could (and should) have changed the channel. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, then comes "The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo!" Good God, not even Tony Schalob could save this one from being a total stinker. The cast this time is is Shaggy, Scooby, Daphne... and that brown bastard Scrappy again. I'm convinced that he was responsible for the downfall of this once proud franchise. There are also 2 new guys, some sorcerer guy and his thieving punk son. Anyway, this show throws away the whole mystery aspect and turns the crew into the motherfucking Ghostbusters. Shaggy and Co. go into some castle and are tricked into freeing the ghost of Tony Shalhoub. Tony's ghost then goes around solving all the mysteries, and now they have to chase him all over, catch him, and sell him to the USA network before he puts them out of business. I'm not really sure, though. It seems I had knocked myself unconscience after about 5 minutes. Get the point? Now, we have "What's New, Scooby Doo?", which is a return to form and seems to be good. However, my interest in Scooby Doo was stomped out of existence a long time ago.
Example 2: The Power Rangers. Of course, the Power Rangers were never good in the first place, but still somehow managed to get worse over time. Let's see: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers; PR Zeo; PR Lost Galaxy; PR Lightspeed Rescue; PR Ninja Storm; PR Dino Force... I think that's all of them. Nuff' said.
In case you're wondering, I did also have a Transformers example up here too. However, it has come to my attention that seasons 3 and 4 (all 3 episodes of it) of G1 pretty much sucked ass. Therefore, I must say the others did sorta do better.
Now, the Sonic franchise seemed to be shaping up to fit this description. The first 2 cartoons, Adventures and SATAM, came out at about the same time, so there is no degrade in quality between them. Then came "Sonic Underground", which blew big donkey balls. Taking some things from SATAM and the comics, this one threw in some new things. Sonic now had a sister named Sonia, and a brother named Manic. Hmmm... SONia and manic? Could there be a wordplay? They also fought the forces of Robotnik by singing songs. They had these little necklaces which transformed into instruments and then they sang some godawful songs. I thought the music in the games were gay, but this is very homoerotic. Naturally, Sonic had the electric guitar, since that is the "coolest" position in a band. Speaking of "cool", this show makes a pathetic attempt at trying to be hip. In the first episode I saw, I swear they used to word "cool" in every other sentence. There were only 2 redeeming factors to this atrocity: SEGA had nothing to do with this, except for saying "Sure, you can make a cartoon using our characters."; And Knuckles was fucking Sonia.
So when I heard they were making a new cartoon, I wasn't exactly expecting it to melt my butter, if you know what I mean. It was called "Sonic X", which is about the biggest cliché of the 90's. Let's see what I can come up with off the top of my head: Generation X; Mr. X; Project X (from a whole bunch of different things); Shinobi X (Shinobi Legion's Japanese title); Revolution X; Static X; some other band I can't remember; Madden Super Extreme Blitz X 64; I could go on.
Then, I realized that this was the 4th cartoon incarnation of Sonic, and history has shown that franchises generally go down the shitter by that time.
Take Scooby Doo, for example. That was a good show, until Hanna Barbera decided to make about 10 different versions of it. First we had "Scooby Doo, Where are you?", and that was good. Then, the "Scooby Doo Movie" came out, which wasn't actually a movie, despite the name. It was the same show except with guest stars like the Harlem Globetrotters, The Three Stooges, and Dick Van Dyke. That was pretty good too, although when I first saw the introduction I thought, WTF? But then, they made "Scooby and Scrappy Doo", which was the same show plus Scooby's hella annoying (son? younger brother? relative?) Now, I may have my order mixed up, but bear with me... Then we got "A Pup Named Scooby Doo", which was alright, if you were 3 years old or completely retarded. All I have to say there.
HB charged ahead with "The New Scooby Doo Adventures", which dropped Fred and Velma, who apparently had some better things to do than be in this utter heap of shit. I knew this was going to be bad as soon as I saw the opening credits which featured dancing vampires, ghosts, and butcher dudes. I was ready to chuck this right out the fucking window, but alas, there was nothing to defenestrate, and I could only sit and watch in horror. Well, I guess I could (and should) have changed the channel. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, then comes "The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo!" Good God, not even Tony Schalob could save this one from being a total stinker. The cast this time is is Shaggy, Scooby, Daphne... and that brown bastard Scrappy again. I'm convinced that he was responsible for the downfall of this once proud franchise. There are also 2 new guys, some sorcerer guy and his thieving punk son. Anyway, this show throws away the whole mystery aspect and turns the crew into the motherfucking Ghostbusters. Shaggy and Co. go into some castle and are tricked into freeing the ghost of Tony Shalhoub. Tony's ghost then goes around solving all the mysteries, and now they have to chase him all over, catch him, and sell him to the USA network before he puts them out of business. I'm not really sure, though. It seems I had knocked myself unconscience after about 5 minutes. Get the point? Now, we have "What's New, Scooby Doo?", which is a return to form and seems to be good. However, my interest in Scooby Doo was stomped out of existence a long time ago.
Example 2: The Power Rangers. Of course, the Power Rangers were never good in the first place, but still somehow managed to get worse over time. Let's see: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers; PR Zeo; PR Lost Galaxy; PR Lightspeed Rescue; PR Ninja Storm; PR Dino Force... I think that's all of them. Nuff' said.
In case you're wondering, I did also have a Transformers example up here too. However, it has come to my attention that seasons 3 and 4 (all 3 episodes of it) of G1 pretty much sucked ass. Therefore, I must say the others did sorta do better.
Now, the Sonic franchise seemed to be shaping up to fit this description. The first 2 cartoons, Adventures and SATAM, came out at about the same time, so there is no degrade in quality between them. Then came "Sonic Underground", which blew big donkey balls. Taking some things from SATAM and the comics, this one threw in some new things. Sonic now had a sister named Sonia, and a brother named Manic. Hmmm... SONia and manic? Could there be a wordplay? They also fought the forces of Robotnik by singing songs. They had these little necklaces which transformed into instruments and then they sang some godawful songs. I thought the music in the games were gay, but this is very homoerotic. Naturally, Sonic had the electric guitar, since that is the "coolest" position in a band. Speaking of "cool", this show makes a pathetic attempt at trying to be hip. In the first episode I saw, I swear they used to word "cool" in every other sentence. There were only 2 redeeming factors to this atrocity: SEGA had nothing to do with this, except for saying "Sure, you can make a cartoon using our characters."; And Knuckles was fucking Sonia.
"Dude, your sister's pretty hot!"
"Shut up!"
"Sorry man, but I'd just love to slide a finger up
that ass..."
"Oh, you're fucking dead!"
Pictures were ripped off of teamartail.com, BTW. No
bitching.
Well, that should have been in an episode. Well, if SEGA didn't make this trash, than who did? Let's see, the... French!?! Well, that figures. The French screw everything up! Practically give them a Disneyland, and they can't even make a dime of it! Not even purple-butted baboons could ruin a Disneyland!
"So, you're proving that a show is good by showing how much the other ones sucked?"
Yep. Now that you mention it, I have been talking for about 30 minutes (that's about how long it took me to type this far) and I still haven't actually commented on what I think of this show. Back on task... I was skeptical, but then I saw the Sonic Cult talking about it, so I figured it couldn't be all that bad. I downloaded the first episode and watched. My jaw hit the floor after the first 5 minutes. This was some finely crafted animation, and I'll be damned if it wasn't one of the best shows I've seen in a looong time. BTW, this review is for the Japanese version, not the bastardized American version on the Foxbox.
First, I should point out that this is an anime. Like it or lump it, but you can't deny that the Japanese are totally whupping us in the animation department. Disney only wishes they could make shit this good. Let's see: giant robots; Formula One equipped police; characters screaming unintelligible things in the heat of battle; main character closing their eyes as a blue essence swirls around them; yep, this is definitely anime. It also doesn't make much sense. The artwork is amazing; the crew has never looked better. Sonic is a stud, and Tails will have every girl in the room going "Awwww." Plus, the character's facial expressions are hilarious at times. As for the audio, all the music is good. Sonic Drive is a little dittsy, though. Oh, I like it, but it still is dittsy.
SONIC GO! SONIC GO! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Let's go, motherfucker!
The voices... well, since I can't really tell if their acting is bad since I don't understand what they are saying, is an unknown. However, the Japanese actors seem to take their job seriously. Most people rap on Tails's voice, but I have no problem with it. Yeah, he sounds kinda girlish (For the record, Tails is MALE, damn it! Unless you are in the Cult, in which case, ignore what I just said), but he's only 8 years old. I know I sounded kinda girly back then, and you probably did too, so shut up. As for the charge of being annoying: guilty, but then again, what are sidekicks for?
And now, watching this show, I realize why I didn't like the previous ones. They just simply weren't Sonic somehow. All the games have this indescribable vibe to them, and this show captures that vibe, whereas its predecessors did not. Sonic Team actually had a hand in the creation of this show, specifically the Concept team. I won't even pretend to know what that means, but I'm willing to bet they are the reason this show rocks.
Like the games, the show is aimed at kids, but has enough cool shit for the older Sonic fans. It has some of the sweetest action this side of DBZ. And actually, its aimed for Japanese kids, so its even cooler (The kids in Japan don't need their cartoons to be soft or dumbed down.) If you liked the newer games , you should like this too.
Now, I do have some problems with this show. For one, Sonic seems to have a thing for picking flowers. But I guess that's all right since Sonic is the essence of nature fighting against the encroachment of science. Or something. I dunno. Then there's Chris... Now, if it were up to me, I would have him thrown into the pits of Hell and never seen again. However, having Chris isn't necessarily a bad thing. He and his grandpa are the Spike and Sparkplug of Sonic X. I heard someone say that the show should be called Christopher X, and now I realize that little shit probably does get more screen time then Sonic! Why didn't I notice that before?
This is what killed T-Formers Armada, but here it's not so much of a death sentence, although it is disheartening. He's got 3 things over those brats: he's not annoying (although "Sonikuuu!" can really start to get on your nerves); his involvement is mostly limited to tagging along; and he doesn't require rescue every 15 minutes. But...
Well, that should have been in an episode. Well, if SEGA didn't make this trash, than who did? Let's see, the... French!?! Well, that figures. The French screw everything up! Practically give them a Disneyland, and they can't even make a dime of it! Not even purple-butted baboons could ruin a Disneyland!
"So, you're proving that a show is good by showing how much the other ones sucked?"
Yep. Now that you mention it, I have been talking for about 30 minutes (that's about how long it took me to type this far) and I still haven't actually commented on what I think of this show. Back on task... I was skeptical, but then I saw the Sonic Cult talking about it, so I figured it couldn't be all that bad. I downloaded the first episode and watched. My jaw hit the floor after the first 5 minutes. This was some finely crafted animation, and I'll be damned if it wasn't one of the best shows I've seen in a looong time. BTW, this review is for the Japanese version, not the bastardized American version on the Foxbox.
First, I should point out that this is an anime. Like it or lump it, but you can't deny that the Japanese are totally whupping us in the animation department. Disney only wishes they could make shit this good. Let's see: giant robots; Formula One equipped police; characters screaming unintelligible things in the heat of battle; main character closing their eyes as a blue essence swirls around them; yep, this is definitely anime. It also doesn't make much sense. The artwork is amazing; the crew has never looked better. Sonic is a stud, and Tails will have every girl in the room going "Awwww." Plus, the character's facial expressions are hilarious at times. As for the audio, all the music is good. Sonic Drive is a little dittsy, though. Oh, I like it, but it still is dittsy.
SONIC GO! SONIC GO! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Let's go, motherfucker!
The voices... well, since I can't really tell if their acting is bad since I don't understand what they are saying, is an unknown. However, the Japanese actors seem to take their job seriously. Most people rap on Tails's voice, but I have no problem with it. Yeah, he sounds kinda girlish (For the record, Tails is MALE, damn it! Unless you are in the Cult, in which case, ignore what I just said), but he's only 8 years old. I know I sounded kinda girly back then, and you probably did too, so shut up. As for the charge of being annoying: guilty, but then again, what are sidekicks for?
And now, watching this show, I realize why I didn't like the previous ones. They just simply weren't Sonic somehow. All the games have this indescribable vibe to them, and this show captures that vibe, whereas its predecessors did not. Sonic Team actually had a hand in the creation of this show, specifically the Concept team. I won't even pretend to know what that means, but I'm willing to bet they are the reason this show rocks.
Like the games, the show is aimed at kids, but has enough cool shit for the older Sonic fans. It has some of the sweetest action this side of DBZ. And actually, its aimed for Japanese kids, so its even cooler (The kids in Japan don't need their cartoons to be soft or dumbed down.) If you liked the newer games , you should like this too.
Now, I do have some problems with this show. For one, Sonic seems to have a thing for picking flowers. But I guess that's all right since Sonic is the essence of nature fighting against the encroachment of science. Or something. I dunno. Then there's Chris... Now, if it were up to me, I would have him thrown into the pits of Hell and never seen again. However, having Chris isn't necessarily a bad thing. He and his grandpa are the Spike and Sparkplug of Sonic X. I heard someone say that the show should be called Christopher X, and now I realize that little shit probably does get more screen time then Sonic! Why didn't I notice that before?
This is what killed T-Formers Armada, but here it's not so much of a death sentence, although it is disheartening. He's got 3 things over those brats: he's not annoying (although "Sonikuuu!" can really start to get on your nerves); his involvement is mostly limited to tagging along; and he doesn't require rescue every 15 minutes. But...
"Sonic, Eggman's got a new robot!"
(Yawn)
"It's equipped with ballistic missiles and laser
chainsaw hands!"
"Let's roll."
"Can I come too?"
"Sure, I don't see why not..."
Show some responsibility, guys. Fortunately, Chris understands
the basic rules: Giant robot + no superpowers = stay the hell outta the
fight. At least he doesn't roll into the middle of a battlefield in a
wheelchair and attach a device to Thundercracker's leg.
Next, I'm sure you noticed the use of Dr. Eggman instead of Robotnik. It may be his proper Japanese name, but I prefer the name Robotnik. It doesn't matter when Sonic and pals call him that, since they're mocking him. But why would someone call himself Eggman? It's just plain stupid. Someone actually made the argument that he resembles an egg, but doesn't look like a Robotnik. Well, duh. It's just a name. I don't know what a Mike or a Rodney is. Geez, my name might as well be Male Caucasian.
I think Cream deserves a special mention. Although I hate her, she does actually fit in here somehow, unlike those "Freedom Fighters." Fortunately, the creators probably realized that we don't care about her, so we usually never see her. She also has a little chao that follows her around named Cheese. Yes, Cream and Cheese. Don't even get me started on that. No, don't.
It might be a tossup between Mario and Sonic as far as the games go, but Sonic officially has a better cartoon (Not sure if that actually means anything.) I was having doubts after the first 10 episodes, but now I can safely say that this is a A-list series. I'm not so sure about the next 26 episodes. I think EP 26 would have been a perfect place to stop. Now, they are doing an adaptation of Sonic Adventures 1 and 2. Its nice to see Sonic X be linked, but I think this is really unnecessary. I do like the idea of the games being adapted, but I think that SA was just fine without Chris, thank you very much.
There's just one snag. Being able to actually watch it if you don't understand Japanese. The Foxbox version's dialog is pretty horrible, and there are no LEGAL English subtitled versions. I don't condone bootlegs, but I'm sorry to say they are your best bet if you want to watch this show. However, the bootlegs subtitles were done by people with very limited knowledge of English (well, you get what you pay for) and the downloads have their audio and video off sync (at least for the ones I tried.) Team Artail had done it right, but they stopped after episode 2, and I doubt they will proceed. I don't have much faith in 4Kids (they handled the FoxBox version) making a worthwhile DVD. Even if they do include the original Japanese dialog, the subtitles will probably just be of their crappy dub. (Like with Sonic Adventure, except the English dub wasn't as bad as this...) It's a damn shame since Sonic is so cool over in Japan, but when he appears in America, he gets shot in the leg with crap like this.
As for the American dub, the voices have taken a serious drop. Good God, who does Sonic's voice? Cream has only 1 tone of voice, whether she's happy, sad, or (trying to) scream. I can sympathize, as I can only imitate some voices in a certain tone, but I wouldn't expect someone to hire me either. Eggman lands a 50-50, as he's not especially bad or good, although his laugh needs a lot of work.
But actually, I don't really mind the voices, I mind the lousy dialog. Once again, the characters talk like we're all complete dipshits and need to talk so that a blind 4 year-old knows exactly what is going on at all times. (Then again, what's the average American literacy level? 5th grade?) This exists in just about every cartoon, so I don't have any special hate for the dub.
"I'll use my freeze ray to freeze over the water!"
Thanks for the explanation; I couldn't figure it out myself. I originally had some more bullshit in an earlier version of this article but I deleted it so I guess I'll just abrubtly end this review here.
Next, I'm sure you noticed the use of Dr. Eggman instead of Robotnik. It may be his proper Japanese name, but I prefer the name Robotnik. It doesn't matter when Sonic and pals call him that, since they're mocking him. But why would someone call himself Eggman? It's just plain stupid. Someone actually made the argument that he resembles an egg, but doesn't look like a Robotnik. Well, duh. It's just a name. I don't know what a Mike or a Rodney is. Geez, my name might as well be Male Caucasian.
I think Cream deserves a special mention. Although I hate her, she does actually fit in here somehow, unlike those "Freedom Fighters." Fortunately, the creators probably realized that we don't care about her, so we usually never see her. She also has a little chao that follows her around named Cheese. Yes, Cream and Cheese. Don't even get me started on that. No, don't.
It might be a tossup between Mario and Sonic as far as the games go, but Sonic officially has a better cartoon (Not sure if that actually means anything.) I was having doubts after the first 10 episodes, but now I can safely say that this is a A-list series. I'm not so sure about the next 26 episodes. I think EP 26 would have been a perfect place to stop. Now, they are doing an adaptation of Sonic Adventures 1 and 2. Its nice to see Sonic X be linked, but I think this is really unnecessary. I do like the idea of the games being adapted, but I think that SA was just fine without Chris, thank you very much.
There's just one snag. Being able to actually watch it if you don't understand Japanese. The Foxbox version's dialog is pretty horrible, and there are no LEGAL English subtitled versions. I don't condone bootlegs, but I'm sorry to say they are your best bet if you want to watch this show. However, the bootlegs subtitles were done by people with very limited knowledge of English (well, you get what you pay for) and the downloads have their audio and video off sync (at least for the ones I tried.) Team Artail had done it right, but they stopped after episode 2, and I doubt they will proceed. I don't have much faith in 4Kids (they handled the FoxBox version) making a worthwhile DVD. Even if they do include the original Japanese dialog, the subtitles will probably just be of their crappy dub. (Like with Sonic Adventure, except the English dub wasn't as bad as this...) It's a damn shame since Sonic is so cool over in Japan, but when he appears in America, he gets shot in the leg with crap like this.
As for the American dub, the voices have taken a serious drop. Good God, who does Sonic's voice? Cream has only 1 tone of voice, whether she's happy, sad, or (trying to) scream. I can sympathize, as I can only imitate some voices in a certain tone, but I wouldn't expect someone to hire me either. Eggman lands a 50-50, as he's not especially bad or good, although his laugh needs a lot of work.
But actually, I don't really mind the voices, I mind the lousy dialog. Once again, the characters talk like we're all complete dipshits and need to talk so that a blind 4 year-old knows exactly what is going on at all times. (Then again, what's the average American literacy level? 5th grade?) This exists in just about every cartoon, so I don't have any special hate for the dub.
"I'll use my freeze ray to freeze over the water!"
Thanks for the explanation; I couldn't figure it out myself. I originally had some more bullshit in an earlier version of this article but I deleted it so I guess I'll just abrubtly end this review here.