dser

Play It:

For the Wii only.

Story:

In the fuuuuuuuuuture, a mysterious artifact has been discovered in space. However, along with its... Oh for the love of god do I really need to continue? Of course not. Anybody care to guess what happens? FUCKING ALIENS APPEAR AND START MASSACRING PEOPLE.

Geez, I'm not surprised we haven't gotten further with our space programs. After watching a whole bunch of science fiction, I sure wouldn't want to head out there. Who knows what's out there? Forget anal probes man, that shit's like 6th grade. No, aliens are much worse. They'll implant you with an embryo that bursts out of your ass. But that's just a fraction of the things that could happen to you. You might flip out. You might end up in Hell (the shortest distance between 2 points is not 0. That doesn't even make sense!) Failing that, you could just get sucked out into space. I have a healthy paranoia about leaving Earth.

Okay, back on topic, this is only about the most cliché plot ever. However, the way it is told is much better, and the story actually holds some gravity (space pun!) to it. You take control of several characters in their quest for survival, and not all of them will make it out alive. Well okay, most won't. This makes it more interesting, although you can probably guess who's gonna die and who lives. I did guess wrong on one count though.

Visual:

Really good... for a Wii game. Nothing else to say.

Audio:

The sound is a bit all over, but mostly good. The music is very intense at times and unsettling. You likely won't remember it, but you'll appreciate it when you hear it. The voice acting is actually pretty good. Some of the dialog is dumb, but I guess people will always let bad lines slip. One bad thing is that there's a bit of recycled dialog, and it's pretty obvious. However, the audio is slightly glitchy. I've had bits of dialog go unspoken several times during a conversation. There's also one place where the game always has a bit of dialog from earlier in the level that makes no sense at all in context of when it appears.

Challenge:

Easy overall, but the game manages to be somewhat frustrating rather than hard. If you played Dead Space, you'll understand how you're supposed to fight off the enemy. This being a shooter, they attack in large groups often, leaving you wondering which guy you should start dismembering first. Or rather, who you should shoot first, since you'll probably have to spread out your efforts since everybody won't wait for their turn. You can't unlock the harder difficulties until you beat the game, so I never even bothered trying them.

Enjoyment:

Oh boy this is a hard one to write. I guess I'll start positive. The game plays unlike other shooters where instead of simply shooting enemies, you are encouraged to dismember them for more efficient disposal. Apparently, these guys can simply grow new limbs, so you have to... uh, shoot off certain limbs so that they don't grow new ones. Okay, I never played Dead Space and went off some basic research as to the plot of said game so I think I missed something. Anyway, this lends some thinking to battles as opposed to simply hammering the trigger. However, this also backfires since every enemy of the same type is dealt with in the same manner. You'll find yourself repeating the same thing over and over. Granted, lightgun games are just point and shoot, but when you have to shoot everything more than once, it gets a little more redundant, even tedious.

The game also has great length to it. The stages vary in duration, but most are about 20 minutes. There's 10 of them, so do the math. You won't beat this game is a single sitting. On the other hand, there are times where the characters will stand around for a couple minutes and talk, which might be why they take so long. I know many people just habitually skip all cutscenes, but if you're one of them, be prepared for disappointment because you CAN'T skip anything. I don't mind that too much, but after researching the levels repeatedly, I was wishing I could just get on with it.

Onto the neutral... Now, if you've played the original Dead Space or if you're interested because of its horror influences, you'll want to know if the game actually delivers on the scary. As you might guess, no. This genre doesn't exactly lend itself well to this kind of thing. The music and some scenery is actually unsettling, but you won't be too scared to continue unless you're a wuss. The game does have some parts where creatures jump out at you accompanied by a blare of noise, however, with this being a lightgun game, you'll should always be expecting something to surprise you so you probably won't get caught out. On the other hand, there are actually sizable stretches of walking around without getting attacked by anything so the game can manage to put down your guard and make you jump at least a couple times.

Okay, now let's look at the bad stuff... This game takes after Umbrella Chronicles in its control scheme. Aside from shooting, you get controls for switching weapons, grabbing stuff or actions, using Kinesis (that's future slang yo!) If you weren't a fan of that game's control scheme, this game will just turn you off. I myself gave up and took the remote out of the Perfect Shot. Lack of simplicity aside, there's also a real dumb choice they made: the melee attack is activated by shaking the nunchuk. Coincidentally, so is reloading or escaping from grapples. There is also no differentiating between actions in the game, so if you use your melee attack, you automatically reload your weapon too! Did you know you can't strike while reloading either? That means whenever you fend off a close enemy, you render yourself defenseless afterwards unless you happen to have a full clip, so I hope you aren't going up against more than one enemy. GREAT FUCKING DESIGN GUYS!

There's a variety of weapons in the game, but too bad most of them suck total balls. One weapon is the Ripper, which uses saw blades for projectiles. Sounds cool, right? Well, after firing the weapon at enemies to absolutely no effect, I didn't think so. Turns out you have to hold down the trigger and remote control the blades. Oh, of course, why didn't I think of that? Turns out you really have to hack an enemy to pieces to kill it, making it worthless against a group of enemies unless you want to spend 5 minutes holding them off first. The P-Sec Pistol is too weak to be any use. The Flamethrower is also weak, and enemies can still hit you as they burn. The Arc Welding Gun is pretty weak too and not worth using. The Pulse Rifle is good for most of the game, but becomes worthless towards the end. The Force Gun is good, but is worthless if your enemy is far away and up high. Do I even have to mention the default Rivet Gun sucks too?

Bosses can be another source of annoyance too. Unlike most other games, the game doesn't show a lifebar for bosses. That might seem unimportant, but if you're running low on ammo it's nice to know if you're actually HURTING the boss or wasting ammo, or even if you're making any progress. After spending 5 minutes fighting a boss before dying, I was left wondering if I was doing anything right. The last boss can be a living hell if you are unlucky enough to fight him while you are carrying an arsenal consisting of crappy weapons and believe me, that's a pretty good chance.

If that weren't enough, the game has some annoying glitches. I mentioned the audio before, but there's more serious issues in the gameplay. Enemies can sometimes get around you and attack from the side. That's amazing since there's NO ROOM for them to go sometimes. What the hell? He's BEHIND the wall so I can't shoot him, but somehow he can reach through and hit me! BULLSHIT! Another time a creature went behind a pillar and just stood there and fired projectiles at me. This time, neither of us were able to hit one another, so I waited for 5 or so minutes before turning off the game in disgust. BULLSHIT! There were at least 2 other times when no enemies even appeared on screen, resulting in me being unable to advance. BULLSHIT! Dude, it's a frickin' lightgun (well actually I guess not) game; it shouldn't be THAT hard to program.

Replay Value:

It's got the length to put it ahead of every other shooter, but not the replayability. Some levels have alternate paths to take, but that's only another play. Aside from that, your only incentive to play again is to earn upgrades to your stuff, which isn't exactly exciting.

Bottom Line:

Well, I cannot tell a lie. I didn't really enjoy this game that much. I don't regret buying it, but I don't think I'll be saying "Hey, I feel like playing Dead Space Extraction right now" very many times.


	CARL, DO YOU LIKE MAIMING PEOPLE? JUST CURIOUS...

	Play It: For the Wii only. Story: In the fuuuuuuuuuture, a mysterious artifact has been discovered in space. However, along with its... Oh for the love of god do I really need to continue? Of course not. Anybody care to guess what happens? FUCKING ALIENS APPEAR AND START MASSACRING PEOPLE. Geez, I'm not surprised we haven't gotten further with our space programs. After watching a whole bunch of science fiction, I sure wouldn't want to head out there. Who knows what's out there? Forget anal probes man, that shit's like 6th grade. No, aliens are much worse. They'll implant you with an embryo that bursts out of your ass. But that's just a fraction of the things that could happen to you. You might flip out. You might end up in Hell (the shortest distance between 2 points is not 0. That doesn't even make sense!) Failing that, you could just get sucked out into space. I have a healthy paranoia about leaving Earth. Okay, back on topic, this is only about the most cliché plot ever. However, the way it is told is much better, and the story actually holds some gravity (space pun!) to it. You take control of several characters in their quest for survival, and not all of them will make it out alive. Well okay, most won't. This makes it more interesting, although you can probably guess who's gonna die and who lives. I did guess wrong on one count though. Visual: Really good... for a Wii game. Nothing else to say. Audio: The sound is a bit all over, but mostly good. The music is very intense at times and unsettling. You likely won't remember it, but you'll appreciate it when you hear it. The voice acting is actually pretty good. Some of the dialog is dumb, but I guess people will always let bad lines slip. One bad thing is that there's a bit of recycled dialog, and it's pretty obvious. However, the audio is slightly glitchy. I've had bits of dialog go unspoken several times during a conversation. There's also one place where the game always has a bit of dialog from earlier in the level that makes no sense at all in context of when it appears. Challenge: Easy overall, but the game manages to be somewhat frustrating rather than hard. If you played Dead Space, you'll understand how you're supposed to fight off the enemy. This being a shooter, they attack in large groups often, leaving you wondering which guy you should start dismembering first. Or rather, who you should shoot first, since you'll probably have to spread out your efforts since everybody won't wait for their turn. You can't unlock the harder difficulties until you beat the game, so I never even bothered trying them. Enjoyment: Oh boy this is a hard one to write. I guess I'll start positive. The game plays unlike other shooters where instead of simply shooting enemies, you are encouraged to dismember them for more efficient disposal. Apparently, these guys can simply grow new limbs, so you have to... uh, shoot off certain limbs so that they don't grow new ones. Okay, I never played Dead Space and went off some basic research as to the plot of said game so I think I missed something. Anyway, this lends some thinking to battles as opposed to simply hammering the trigger. However, this also backfires since every enemy of the same type is dealt with in the same manner. You'll find yourself repeating the same thing over and over. Granted, lightgun games are just point and shoot, but when you have to shoot everything more than once, it gets a little more redundant, even tedious. The game also has great length to it. The stages vary in duration, but most are about 20 minutes. There's 10 of them, so do the math. You won't beat this game is a single sitting. On the other hand, there are times where the characters will stand around for a couple minutes and talk, which might be why they take so long. I know many people just habitually skip all cutscenes, but if you're one of them, be prepared for disappointment because you CAN'T skip anything. I don't mind that too much, but after researching the levels repeatedly, I was wishing I could just get on with it. Onto the neutral... Now, if you've played the original Dead Space or if you're interested because of its horror influences, you'll want to know if the game actually delivers on the scary. As you might guess, no. This genre doesn't exactly lend itself well to this kind of thing. The music and some scenery is actually unsettling, but you won't be too scared to continue unless you're a wuss. The game does have some parts where creatures jump out at you accompanied by a blare of noise, however, with this being a lightgun game, you'll should always be expecting something to surprise you so you probably won't get caught out. On the other hand, there are actually sizable stretches of walking around without getting attacked by anything so the game can manage to put down your guard and make you jump at least a couple times. Okay, now let's look at the bad stuff... This game takes after Umbrella Chronicles in its control scheme. Aside from shooting, you get controls for switching weapons, grabbing stuff or actions, using Kinesis (that's future slang yo!) If you weren't a fan of that game's control scheme, this game will just turn you off. I myself gave up and took the remote out of the Perfect Shot. Lack of simplicity aside, there's also a real dumb choice they made: the melee attack is activated by shaking the nunchuk. Coincidentally, so is reloading or escaping from grapples. There is also no differentiating between actions in the game, so if you use your melee attack, you automatically reload your weapon too! Did you know you can't strike while reloading either? That means whenever you fend off a close enemy, you render yourself defenseless afterwards unless you happen to have a full clip, so I hope you aren't going up against more than one enemy. GREAT FUCKING DESIGN GUYS! There's a variety of weapons in the game, but too bad most of them suck total balls. One weapon is the Ripper, which uses saw blades for projectiles. Sounds cool, right? Well, after firing the weapon at enemies to absolutely no effect, I didn't think so. Turns out you have to hold down the trigger and remote control the blades. Oh, of course, why didn't I think of that? Turns out you really have to hack an enemy to pieces to kill it, making it worthless against a group of enemies unless you want to spend 5 minutes holding them off first. The P-Sec Pistol is too weak to be any use. The Flamethrower is also weak, and enemies can still hit you as they burn. The Arc Welding Gun is pretty weak too and not worth using. The Pulse Rifle is good for most of the game, but becomes worthless towards the end. The Force Gun is good, but is worthless if your enemy is far away and up high. Do I even have to mention the default Rivet Gun sucks too? Bosses can be another source of annoyance too. Unlike most other games, the game doesn't show a lifebar for bosses. That might seem unimportant, but if you're running low on ammo it's nice to know if you're actually HURTING the boss or wasting ammo, or even if you're making any progress. After spending 5 minutes fighting a boss before dying, I was left wondering if I was doing anything right. The last boss can be a living hell if you are unlucky enough to fight him while you are carrying an arsenal consisting of crappy weapons and believe me, that's a pretty good chance. If that weren't enough, the game has some annoying glitches. I mentioned the audio before, but there's more serious issues in the gameplay. Enemies can sometimes get around you and attack from the side. That's amazing since there's NO ROOM for them to go sometimes. What the hell? He's BEHIND the wall so I can't shoot him, but somehow he can reach through and hit me! BULLSHIT! Another time a creature went behind a pillar and just stood there and fired projectiles at me. This time, neither of us were able to hit one another, so I waited for 5 or so minutes before turning off the game in disgust. BULLSHIT! There were at least 2 other times when no enemies even appeared on screen, resulting in me being unable to advance. BULLSHIT! Dude, it's a frickin' lightgun (well actually I guess not) game; it shouldn't be THAT hard to program. Replay Value: It's got the length to put it ahead of every other shooter, but not the replayability. Some levels have alternate paths to take, but that's only another play. Aside from that, your only incentive to play again is to earn upgrades to your stuff, which isn't exactly exciting. Bottom Line: Well, I cannot tell a lie. I didn't really enjoy this game that much. I don't regret buying it, but I don't think I'll be saying "Hey, I feel like playing Dead Space Extraction right now" very many times.